Thank you, Andrea, for the newsletter! Like the film itself, it is absolutely excellent. . . the finest product of its kind, produced and delivered with the purest possible motive. This is one of the sweetest ministries I've ever seen or experienced: it wrestles with the real issues and touches all the bases, always leading the individual to a personal relationship with Almighty God.
The film confirms a fact that has astonished me in my two years of life as a single man (following nearly 20 years of marriage and an involuntary divorce): some of the most accomplished, impressive, intelligent, youthful and incredibly beautiful women on the planet are single Black women over 40!
Soulmate challenges both men and women to find self-acceptance by putting God first, and allowing Him to be Everything, if necessary. However, I'm looking for the solution that will eliminate the struggle that Michelle and Vanessa and Rev. Cynthia and the others have gone through. In my mind, God has kept them through an unnecessary struggle, a crisis that was -- and is -- NOT His will. In other words, He wanted and wants them to have their heart's desire: a loving, Christian husband! But the men have not cooperated with Divine Will and Divine Order. . . and maybe, somehow, the sisters have misstepped, too. We need to restore and raise up the brothers . . . and fix the warped and perverted social order in our Community.
Thank you for the encouragement!
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-- Anthony N., Detroit, MI
I have just finished viewing SoulMate. The movie is phenomenal, Andrea you were no doubt anointed by God for this message to be imparted to single people, as well as married people through the film media. This film is a sermon! Every singles ministry in every African - American church needs to have a viewing, and how do we introduce it to the unchurched? What more can I do? Awesome, Your sister in Christ.
– Brenda Columbus, OH
Thank you very much for making the Soulmate film.
I have viewed the DVD and have shown it to others. This movie views the high number of unmarried African American women as problematic, but from my perspective I view it as a blessing. This perspective has come from my experience as a divorced mature Christian female who has been single and celibate for over 20 years.
At first it was frightening and lonely to admit that over the past 20 years not one qualified man ( one with faith in Christ Jesus, who loves himself) has presented himself to me to ask for a date or develop a friendship. No one that I know of has been attracted to me and there are literally NO men in my life other than my adult sons. I sometimes think that my perspective might be skewed because I haven't been on a date in 20 years or had a conversation with anyone to discuss and try to understand what all of this means.
Since viewing the film I now have a place where I can enter into dialog and participate in a conversation that is long over due. Your film has helped me gain a greater respect for my thoughts and views. In Christ I am now at a place of joy and peace in my life. Am I attracted to men? Yes. Do I see myself as having value and worth? Yes. Do I desire to be in a purposeful, caring, friendship or marriage? Yes. But for whatever reason there is no man for me. I am also the mother of a 29 year old beautiful, Spirit-filled, college educated daughter. And I have some concerns, because there is no one for her either. And like you I personally know of 20 or more women who are financially secure, well educated as well as spiritually, emotionally and physically beautiful. Yet, there are no men in there lives except fathers, sons, brothers and uncles. We are out there in the work place, on college campuses, caring for our families, faithfully serving in our churches and participating in ministries yet unmarried.
Women who are not Christian have other options, but we don't, because our sexuality can only be "acceptably" expressed in marriage. I have been the director of a singles ministry and by profession I am also a counselor. So I have given lots of thought and research to this issue. This is why I 'm starting to feel like we're focusing too much on the problem instead of asking God what His purpose is for our season or life of singleness.
Throughout history there have always been more women than men. In China they solved the problem by men taking concubines, in Africa polygamous marriage was and still is in some society’s their answer. In the bible the book of Isaiah chapter 4 spoke about this concern over 3 thousand years ago. For those of us who are African American we know that racism, war, drugs, homosexuality, injustice and poverty have significantly influenced our ability to engage in and sustain long term monogamous relationships. Yes, the desolation is there, but by the grace of God, we have to move past what we don't have and realize the blessing of who we are and what we do have.
I know I think differently from other single women (even other Christian women), we all have our opinions, but I can't help but wonder what kind of impact single Christian women could make in this world if we would shift our primary focus from attracting men, having sex, getting married and having children to discovering our purpose and developing our lives for God's glory. Please don't misunderstand there's nothing wrong with desiring any or all of the above. I just know my breakthrough came ( the joy and peace) when I saw my life the way it is as a blessing. Warmest Regards.--Jheri P.
Good Morning Andrea,
Let me first say I just opened my email from my good friend in which she had forwarded your newsletter and WOW! how awesome......your success with "SOULMATE". My mind went crazy with how I could continue to promote this. As I started going through the newsletter I thought, "why did I not know about this and why do my friends not know and how can I put us more in the know". This is soooo powerful and poignant as much of our "table talk" conversations are on this subject -with friends in and out of the industry. I really want to have a meet and greet with you. I cannot express how elated I am for so many personal reasons. I would love to support your program in any way I can. It is about "us" paying it forward and the sistas of all races I speak with especially those who are low in spirit.
In sharing my suffering as a recent widow, need to know how to mend the broken heart, how to still live in these crazy times. And what about the newly and unexpected single girls, not by choice.
The new position of young and old widows, simply...where do we go from here?
-- Teal M., Los Angeles
I know this site is a site for black women, but white women are hanging out there too.... we, at least I want a man in my life who is a good man and who loves God and will love me and color, size, looks are not an issue, his heart is. I thank you for reminding me I am not alone in my search and that God has my back. Thank you ... I am a single white woman and today I needed your strength. God
Bless you.
-- Debi T., Ansonia, CT
Hello Mrs. Wiley,
It was great meeting you at the National Black MBA conference last week. I had to email you to let you know the impact your presentation and DVD had on me. The Relationship Forum was a hit with me and others attending the conference. We could have had several hours of dialog based on the 20-minute clip you showed.
I purchased your DVD and watched it the other night. I found the DVD dynamic and thought provoking. I’m looking forward to your next DVD, dealing with the man’s side of the discussion.
Please keep up the good work because we need something to keep the conversation out there. I often wonder why I’m single with there being so many single women out there. I guess I waiting from Miss Right, however, I can’t understand why I have not found her. I’m content as to where God has me at the moment, but I often speak with the Lord asking him why. However, I can’t complain about my life because my cup runneth over with great friends and family. I have a saying that I tell people about the woman I’m looking for “I’m not looking for someone I can live with, but someone I feel I can’t live without.”
Have a Blessed week and please keep it coming because there are so many great African Americans out there seeking that someone special to share their lives with.
– Gary B., Atlanta
A friend invited me to the movie screening and the seminar the following day, I have never experienced such an "unmasking" about my own life...it has definitely changed some of the things I'm doing in hopes of finding my soulmate. --
NaCole R., Columbus, OH
