Andrea,
I am so proud of you. Your spirit is amazing! I am
inspired by your unwavering obedience to God's call and to
the impact your work has had in the lives of people around
the world. I trust that the answers will come and that
the healing will begin for Black families.
I look forward to connecting with you in Los Angeles. --
Alicia, Los Angeles
I actually heard about SoulMate on the Tom Joyner Morning
Show. I ordered the DVD and I can't wait until it
arrives. I will be 40 in 6 months and I have never been
married. I am single mother of a 17 yr old son and I am a
Christian. I am so glad that this topic is being address
and it encourages and sometimes saddens me to know that I
am not alone in my walk as a Black Single Christian Women.
-- L. J. ,New York
I'm very interested in seeing the film but my comment or
observation is this... I've encountered many beautiful
black woman who for what ever reason are never clear about
the things they want in their lives. We, men want our black
woman. We want to love them and to receive love from them.
For us, this is simple. For so many woman who long for
marriage, my question is do you really want a husband or do
you want to be married. It may sound like a strange question
because a husband and marriage are supposed to be the same
but they are not. Men don't talk about this because we
weren't raised to but we need love as much as woman do and
we will give our hearts and all the world to the women we
love. I've noticed that when we should be contented in a
peaceful, loving, working relationship, woman are not. So
the question once again returns to, what do woman really
want? -- J. B., New Orleans
I wanted to let you know that I purchased that video from
the e-mail site that was sent me on Soulmate. Very, Very
good insight and very motivational for all single women (but
especially for black women!). It touched on everything we
ever questioned about our desires, dating, marriage, and sex
in relation to God. Most of the women in the movie where
living a life of celibacy and but still wanting and waiting
for that special someone. The overall basic point was
learning to be happy in your life and being prepared to
accept the fact that God's plan may not include a man in
your life. I highly recommend that if you can get it, it is
worth the $20 dollars. -- NG, Eden Prairie
I can't get a decent serious man because he has "options"
that allow him to get it anytime, anywhere, anyplace no
questions asked. I am in a minority group of decent woman
who make a brother prove he's worthy of being my man to be a
husband. Worthy spiritually, intellectually, and
financially. I work on myself continuously with God and
know that in God's time I'll be married again. I've been
celibate for 8 years as well. It has not been easy but when
I see what I have to put up with, I can wait. I'm not just
happy but joyful. I can travel when I get ready, I can cook
when I need to (yes I throw down in the kitchen), I answer
to God for all of my actions, reactions and I'm drama free.
It isn't until you are content in your station in life that
God can bless you to move on. A good man, good husband and
good father are 3 separate people, currently it is hard to
get 2 out of the 3. The same goes for woman. He that finds a
wife finds a good thing, not the woman. This film should be
a good view of what is happening across America. I hope it
states that people get married, but for the wrong reasons
and therefore the marriage doesn't last very long. Not all
marriages but most. -- SH, Ann Arbor
I had the opportunity to watch your film
this past weekend while visiting my cousin Connie in
California. It was absolutely phenomenal. I
believe it to be something that every single woman should
watch but I can see how it also would benefit married women
and offer ways for them to encourage their single friends.
Thank you for this much needed film. I enjoyed it
immensely. --
C. C., Buffalo
Bravo, Bravo, Bravo. What an incredible documentary. I
absolutely loved every moment. Praise God, He's used you
mightily. -- S.F., Los Angeles
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Andrea Wiley for your wonderful work through soul mate. This has been a blessing to many. God has used you in a tremendous way. I used this documentary in a home setting as you did with some of my good friends, about 20 of us laughed, cried and shared. I held this meeting in the home of my brother who is married and has a large home. However, he and his wife are babes in Christ and did not sit in on the fellowship, but I left the dvd at his home and the following week he called me to say that he had company one weekend, some of his male friends and decided to show these gentlemen the film. He said it sparked so much energy and conversation in the room. These men some who were unsaved began to talk about the Lord and their relationships with woman and were interested in having a fellowship with women to openly discuss the issues mentioned in the film. I'm sure that the world has been blessed by you and this film. I too am a married woman with 2 children and when I purchased the film and wanted to be a blessing to my friends, who are mostly single. My husband did not understand my inspiration. But I thank God that I am led by the Holy Spirit. It was a blessing to all who attended. I thank God for women like you who are not afraid to deal with the hurt, pain, concerns and joy of other women's lives. God Bless You, and may all that you touch prosper and continue to do kingdom building here on earth. Lots of Love & God Bless You.
-- G. Williams, Harlem, NY
I just watched
"Soulmates" and I don't know where to begin. Do you mind if
I just let my thoughts flow without censoring myself? (if
you mind, just delete, but I am sure you won't.) I just
have so many feelings that need to be expressed.
First of all, it was a wonderful film and you should be very
pleased with yourself for tackling an issue that could be
very depressing and you made it informative and caused me to
be introspective. You know that I come from a religious
background, will be 33 in a month and a half, and have
several friends who feel some of the ways the women did in
this film. I am always interested in seeing how "we" as
single women portray our "situation" in life. In an effort
to understand our feelings, we act as though we are somehow
victims or lepers and WE ARE NOT. I understand the
loneliness, I understand the embarrassment of saying your
single or don't have children, I understand the feelings of
yearning for a dream that has yet to be fulfilled (if ever),
I understand the desire for kids.....but let's face it, how
many of those women really want it? Or, is marriage really
part of our life's path?
I heard so many rigid statements
about "not settling" and how someone suggested that this
very successful woman consider the guy who is making tacos
at "Taco Bell." Well guess what ladies, successful men
don't worry about what their women do for a profession or
career. They will marry a waitress, a make up lady, high
school or college drop out, secretary, or whatever. They
are marrying a person for who they are, not what they do.
There is both a female and a male energy in a relationship.
Many of these women have masculine energies and might be
served by dating a man who has a more feminine energy,
someone who is a teacher, nurse, artist or something more
nurturing. I can see a man being intimidated by some of the
women in the group because of their inflexible attitudes and
their perceived inadequacy of what is expected.
I
compared this with the women at the end of the film who were
married who had a very positive energy and flexible
attitude. It was beautiful. I am sure that woman who
married the Austrian never imagined that her soulmate would
be European and that she wouldn't even be attracted to him
at first. Amazing! Attraction doesn't have to be
immediate. We are so programmed to believe that attraction
is just experienced with our eyes. It is so much more than
that.
We single women need to stop being so inflexible. My
dream man was the one I was dating when we last spoke in
January. He was Ivy league educated, professional,
successful, seemingly good heart, 6'2 with an excellent
physique (looks have never been that important to me, but
his was a complete bonus), Black (I am always attracted to
men of a different race or origin of birth that is Black,
Middle Eastern, Mexican, etc....) and loved conversation.
He was EVERYTHING on my list. Once I got over the grieving,
I started to see this man for who he really was. I took off
the rose colored glasses and opened up to my family about
what was really going on. I realize that he would have been
HORRIBLE for me and that he WAS horrible for me. I was so
stuck on the resume and the appearance of goodness that I
missed the heart of this man. My eyes deceived me and it
was a blessing to have that relationship end, but I just
couldn't see it at the time. (Thank you again for talking
with me at length and praying for me during that depressing
time).
My soulmate may be an old, bald guy or a man who hasn't
even graduated from college yet. He man be skinny or heavy,
white or black or brown. I have no idea, but what I have
recently learned is that I put way too many parameters on
what package I think this soul will come in. We need to
really be open to the possibilities and open to the
possibility that our life's challenge may be a life of
singlehood. We need to stop taking things so seriously
(that really scares men). You don't need to ask all of the
heavy questions on the first date. Just see what unfolds.
As
my Father likes to tell me all of the time, "There are worse
things than not being married and one of them is being
married to the wrong person." How often do we thank our
Heavenly Father for keeping our lives free from the wrong
men? How many heartaches have we avoided because the bad
guys never showed up at our doorstep? We continue to look
at the glass as being totally empty when in reality our cups
runneth over with blessings of pain that have been avoided.
How many of those wonderful women who have AIDS wish that
those horrible men would have walked on past them? Single
women have a lot to be grateful for and we should start
counting our blessing and not counting our problems.
Those
are just some of my thoughts. Thank you for really making
me think about this issue. I have recently decided that I
need to really open my heart and just live my life. We are
not commanded to make other people love us, but we are
commanded to love others. It starts with that. When we
give love, it will naturally come back to us. Thank you
Andrea. This film was wonderful and I want to be like
Michelle Hammond who exudes a light, like the women at the
end of the film who were content finding marriage later in
life. We just have to focus on the precious moments of
today and enjoy where we are right now.
Although I am not
really your target audience, I believe that every single
woman who has a belief/foundation in God or a spirituality
can relate. Thank you for making this for all of us. I
want to recommend it to some of my friends. -- KP,
Los Angeles
